What Does Happiness Mean to You?
We often compare ourselves to others and what they have, leading us to believe that we have less than they do. That our lives are dull in comparison. What’s important though, is that we learn to dance to our own rhythm.
Comparison can be helpful if you see how others live, and it inspires you to make positive changes in your life. Comparison can also trigger FOMO - the feeling of missing out on the good that others are experiencing.
Social media has intensified this feeling for many of us. We get swept up in the illusion that others live a luxurious lifestyle all day every day, while we are here living a life that feels mundane and at times messy.
But as we often need reminding of - social media is a snippet of real life. It’s the highlights. It’s also a source of entertainment. Many are acting and sharing a way of life that is picture-perfect, tapping into our deepest desires to live a life that is filled with beauty, luxury and ease, every day of the week.
This isn’t necessarily bad. Sharing online is a form of self expression. We love to create worlds that are beautiful and use our imagination. Sharing can inspire others to create and appreciate beauty in their daily life. But it’s important to not attach ourselves to the idea that our lives should be lived this way all day everyday.
Behind the scenes, we all have everyday tasks and challenges. We all have bills to pay, loved ones who need help, health issues at times, children who need attention and support, possessions and clothes to keep clean, and so on.
Our lives are rarely picture-perfect all of the time.
Define your happiness
It’s important to separate ourselves from what we see around us. And think about what happiness means to us.
While travelling around the globe many times a year seems incredible, is it something you see yourself being able to do and enjoy? The cost, the hours of being on a plane, getting through customs, jet lag, finding your way around a country that speaks another language, living out of a suitcase, and so on.
If yes, then great, aspire to include travel in your life. If not, then that’s great too. There are so many things to enjoy in life. The key is to define what happiness means to you - on an individual level.
What does your ideal day look like? Your ideal week, month and year? What activities would you love to include in your everyday life? Who do you spend time with?
It can help to sit down with a pen and paper and note those things that contribute to your happiness and joy.
For me, it’s exercising every day and eating nourishing food. Enjoying a slow cup of coffee. Doing work that uses my talents and has me moving around a bit. Having the flexibility to be there for my children while they are young, and providing them with a good education and opportunities to learn and grow. Working with my husband to create a home we love. Having fun as a family. Good sleep. And the bonus - a holiday from time to time.
Sure, I see things on social media or hear things that others are doing that I wish I could be doing. But then I think about the reality of it and how it fits with my idea of happiness. There are things that I realise aren't the right fit for me, or that aren’t the right fit at the moment.
Quite often, it’s those daily activities and experiences we include in our everyday lives that contribute to our happiness. The simple ones. Like enjoying food around a table. Seeing the smiles on the faces of those we love. Feeling flow when we are engaged in our work or a hobby. And the small pauses within it all where we take it all in.
When we find we are comparing ourselves to others, it helps us to reflect on what happiness means to us. And take small steps daily to align with that vision.