Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: You Are Enough
Most of us compare ourselves to others at one time or another. It might be your career compared to someone else in a higher position. It might be your house, car or other physical possessions. It might be the relationship you have with your partner compared to a friend who seems so in love. Or maybe you see your friend with two beautiful children while you struggle to conceive the one.
While in some ways looking at what others have can inspire you to step outside of your comfort zone and try something different. Or challenge you to see what you are capable of achieving. Comparing yourself too often can bring you down. It can make you feel like you are less than enough as you are.
We have all heard of the saying “keeping up with the Joneses.” Comparison is part of being human and starts from a very young age. None of us wants to miss out on experiencing the best that life has to offer. We don’t want to feel that we wasted our life away. So we hustle. We try as hard as we can to work hard to achieve and obtain more. We might veer from what we truly value in life because the other side of the fence seems more appealing.
Chasing more is exhausting. Like we are running on a treadmill that seems to be going nowhere. We might feel inauthentic because we are trying to walk the path of another. It can feel like we are swimming upstream rather than with the natural ebb and flow of life.
While it may seem that we aren’t as good as others and that we aren’t succeeding as well as others are, it’s important to remember that you are enough. You are worthy and have good qualities. You are walking a path parallel, yet unique, to those who walk around you.
Reflect on the uniqueness of your life
Your friend might be in a higher paying position in their career, but you may be bringing joy to the lives of others in the work you have chosen to do. Your house might not be right on the river with amazing views, but the warmth you have created in your home may make your children feel that their house is the most magical place to live.
Our life is only as ordinary as we lead ourselves to believe.
If we come from being enough and practise gratitude, we won’t feel tempted to compare ourselves to others so often. If we look at our unique strengths and focus on building them to the best of our ability, we won’t see ourselves as less than others.
It’s natural to compare ourselves. We all do it at times. There is nothing wrong with us because we do it. But feeling content in life involves stepping back when we are in that bubble of comparison and pausing to reflect on what is special in our life.
Look at your progress
Taking note of how far you have progressed in life can help you see that your journey is amazing. We are all on a unique path with discoveries and adventures, as well as times of difficulty that teach us something about life. From our experiences, we learn and grow. Thinking of the person you once were and who you are today can show you that you have flourished in unique ways. And that you have much to be proud of in your life.
Let go of striving for perfection
Many of us are striving to achieve a picture-perfect life. Social media has intensified this desire to have it all. To show and prove to others that we are doing well 100% in all elements of our life. Trying to reach perfection is exhausting. We feel deflated when we don’t reach the expectations we place on ourselves. None of us is perfect all the time. Our imperfections make us human (and beautiful)–flaws and all.
Speak words of kindness, rather than criticise
It can be tempting to criticise others when we see that they are doing well. To bring them down to dull the intensity of how they are excelling. We do this to make ourselves look or feel better. But doing this will only reflect poorly on us. When we lift others who are doing well, it increases our chance of rising with them. We’re putting positive energy out into the world and are more likely to attract good into our life when we come from a place of kindness.
Society is always going to display an idealised version of what our life could be. Advertising will always show us what we should have to be happy. Our mind is always going to tempt us to believe that we should be a certain way.
With awareness and practise, we can catch ourselves when we begin to walk down the path of comparison. When we come from a place of understanding that we are enough, focusing our energy on developing our unique strengths–we begin to feel lighter within. We feel at peace more often.