To Those Who Are Struggling

Most of us will experience some kind of struggle in our lifetime. For some, unfortunately, more struggle than others. None of us are free from facing a situation that can potentially derail us.

That’s the thing about life. We can try to prevent bad things from happening, but we can’t always control it.

Four years ago I lost my mother to suicide. My family lit a candle for her birthday yesterday. It was devastating at the time, as you can imagine. I was filled with sorrow that she was feeling so low she chose to end it all. Filled with worry for my father after losing his love. And being mid-pregnancy I was concerned for the health of my unborn daughter, because of all the sadness that I was feeling.

To be honest, there is still a great deal of hurt inside. But I, my family, we moved (and are still moving) through it.

At the time we are facing a difficulty we may feel like we can’t cope. We may ask why them, or why me? And wonder how on earth our life can ever be good again. We may question the purpose of it all.

The thing about life is that it keeps moving forward - whether you want it to or not. In a way, I feel it’s perhaps natures way of gently carrying us beyond the pain.

What we do have some control over when faced with difficulty is how we respond. We can move forward with the flow of life, or dig our heels in and stay with the feelings of resentment, anger or regret. The former will free us. The latter will prolong the pain.

It doesn’t mean standing up, brushing yourself off and pretending like nothing happened. Feeling and understanding the pain is natural and necessary for our growth. But staying with the pain and refusing to accept what happened won’t help us move forward.

Sad and bad things happen. It doesn’t make them right, but they do happen.

When you accept and make the decision to move forward, you begin to feel lighter. You can move beyond it. Life won’t be the same as it was. You may not be the same as you once were. But life can still move in a beautiful and meaningful direction.

The difficulties we face in life shape our path forward. They help us discover things about ourselves - our strengths and weaknesses, the things that really matter and the things that don’t. We come out of them wiser. Struggle can also inspire us to advocate for what we strongly believe in. Encouraging us to open ourselves up and help those who may be navigating a similar struggle.

I’m sorry if you are struggling. I really am. Just know that you can move through your pain. And that life despite its challenges, can still be wonderful.