Practising this one thing can help you feel happy
Many of us hope to feel more content. We chase the things which we think will help us reach this place - career success, a nicer house, deeper relationships, better health and so on. And while they all help in their own way, they aren’t the key ingredient to happiness.
What is though? Gratitude.
“Gratitude is not only the greatest of the virtues, but the parent of all of the others.”
– Cicero (106–43bc)
While it’s not possible to feel happy all the time, being grateful will help us feel happy more often than not. When we look around at all the good that we have before us and be thankful, we are more likely to feel at peace within ourselves. But if we look around hoping for more and constantly looking at what others have in comparison, then we will never have enough.
There will always be someone else with a nicer house or a better career than us. A friend with flawless skin and a better physique. Or a friend who has a picture-perfect family and seems to float through life rather calmly. And we believe they have it all - because that’s how it looks through their social media accounts. Or because in passing conversation with them, all seems blissful in their world.
What many of us tend to forget is that we are looking from the outside in. And behind those walls of perfection, there are struggles. There is something in each of our lives that challenges us. Most of us are battling it out within ourselves in one way or another.
No life is perfect. Yet it can be incredibly beautiful when we open our eyes to what exists right before us.
When we practise being grateful for what we do have we realise just how lucky we are. We are reminded of all the good we do have in our lives and what matters. We get out of the negative and anxious bubble that we are in and we start making others feel happy - which helps us feel happy too.
Ways to practise gratitude
Say thank you. When someone shows kindness, take the time to say thank you. And mean it.
Do something kind for another. Take the time to do something small to help another. It might be giving a jar of homemade tomato sauce to a friend who is exhausted, or making our partner a cup of coffee on a weekend afternoon. These small acts of kindness show and remind us of how much we appreciate having others in our life.
Gratitude journal. Have a notepad inside your bedside drawer and each night before you go to sleep, write down what you feel thankful for.
Three things dinnertime conversation. Take turns going around the dinner table saying three things that you all loved about your day. It’s a nice way of connecting with others and hearing about their day. And a good way to teach children to see the good in their everyday life.
Give thanks for the negative things. Even our struggles can bring good into our lives. It’s through struggle that we learn something about ourselves. It’s how we grow and discover what is meaningful.
Memento Mori - remember you are mortal. Death awareness helps us focus on what is important and encourages us to be present. When we remind ourselves that we will die, or that our loved ones could be taken away at any time, it can fill us with gratitude. It encourages us to look a little deeper and see the beauty that surrounds us.
Document life - through photos, films or writing. One of the ways I feel a deep sense of gratitude is by creating family films. When I watch them they often bring tears to my eyes - happy tears. I know that despite how challenging life feels at times, that each chapter is beautiful in its own way.
While we can’t choose the difficulties that fall upon us in life, we can choose how we respond to them. We can choose to dwell on our limitations or what is lacking in our life - which won’t calm our mind. Or we can choose to focus on the good - how beautiful the sunshine feels on our skin, how resilient we are for getting through a tragic event, how lucky we are to be free of serious illness, how lucky we are to simply be here.
So before you leave and go about your day - what three things are you grateful for?